Resisting bad manners in the home

Every member of the household is bound to have some bad characteristics, such as lying, backbiting, gossiping and so on. These bad characteristics have to be resisted and opposed.

Some people think that corporal punishment is the only way to deal with such things. The following hadeeth is very educational on this topic: from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who said: "If the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came to know that one of his household had told a lie, he would try to ignore him until he repented." (See al-Musnad by Imam Ahmad, 6/152. The text of the hadeeth is also in Sahih al-Jaami’, no. 4675).

Hitting is not the way to discipline; it is not to be resorted to, except when all other means are exhausted, or when it is needed to force someone to do obligatory acts of obedience, as the hadeeth: "Order your  children to pray when they are seven years old, and hit them if they do not do so when they are ten." (Sunan Abi Dawood, 1/334; see also Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1/266)

As for hitting unnecessarily, this is aggression. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) advised a woman not to marry a man because he always had his stick on his shoulder, i.e., he used to beat his wives. On the other hand, there are those who think that they should never use this method of discipline at all, following some kafir educational theories; this is also a mistaken opinion that goes against the sharee’ah.